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We’re delighted to have Rebecca Walker join us for today’s Q&A. Rebecca is the author of To Be Real, Black, White and Jewish, and more recently, Baby Love, which tells the story of how she came to accept and embrace motherhood. For more from Rebecca, be sure to read and subscribe to her blog.

Carrie says: Leave space and emptiness in conversation. Make room for people’s narratives. This can be challenging if I feel less than someone and I get caught up in proving and work to fill space, to tell my story. And then like Rebecca remind myself that I too am flawed and beautiful.  

Danielle says: This is a powerful question, because the answer is a cure for so much of our human struggling. I want to be more open than I am. (I think my new year will be meditation on openness.) Listening keeps my heart unclenched. The deep kind of listening where you meet the person, the words, the circumstance as an opportunity for reverence, or at least understanding. Listening is active openness.  

Rebecca says: I cultivate openness by returning again and again to Buddhist teachings on emptiness and ending fixation on inherently transient phenomena. And reminding myself that I’m a human being just like everyone else–imperfect, beautiful, and ever evolving.  

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Every morning it is the same. I wage a mental war: enjoy a leisurely cup of Joe, or lace my running shoes to pound the pavement. Sometimes Joe wins, sometimes the running does.

Joe’s case is quite persuasive: check email, read my daily horoscope, review the writing job boards…SLURP!…I love Joe. He offers comfort, quiet and serenity.

The Running Option Is A Bit More Convoluted

It doesn’t matter that I have been running for years., my mental dialogue those first few miles is always the same: anguish. First step: “I hate running!” Two minutes in: Huff!, huff!, huff! “Good grief, this is hard!” Eight minutes in: Gasp! “Why am I doing this again……?” 12 minutes in: “Ugh! I miss my Joe!” 20 minutes in: “I have to stop!” Phew! “That was close, I nearly passed out!” Walk a minute. “Okay, try again” Pound, pound, pound. Silence.

Try To Forget

Until I give in to the rhythm of running, I fight!…and I fight hard! Running can be a bit like being pregnant. Your mind and body work together to help you forget the pain, so there is a next time. Sneaky! If I remembered the above scenario every morning I’d never have bought another pair of running shoes! Instead I remember the elation of finishing the run. The stamina I have developed. The positive outlook that sits on my shoulders while I meander through my day. These are the reasons that I often use my auto button on my coffee maker. Joe will be there. I’ll just have more reason to revel, post run.

The Worst Reason Ever

Most women exercise to lose weight or maintain their health. Eeeew! No wonder exercise is so hard. Starting out feeling negative about yourself already or doing something to reap the benefits of something so abstract. Ugh, the upheaval! Where’s the fun in that? I want to feel good! Laugh at myself! Learn a new trick! Something! Anything!…to indulge my larger than life outlook! Reframe your motivation. Exercise keeps me sane. It gives me “me time”. I think clearer after I work out! All of these are likely to keep me coming back for more, rather than watching the numbers on the scale.

Our Motivations Change

When I was going through the sleep deprived infant years with my children, my motivation to exercise waxed and waned. Middle of the night feedings left me cranky and tired during the day. Although, I knew I was a better mom when I exercised. As soon as my husband walked through the door, I begged to steal 30 minutes of “me” time. The endorphin release from running even if it was a quick trip around the block with the baby jogger, prompted patience and cheerfulness. I was refueled. Able to give more of myself.

Today, I practice yoga because it indulges my gentle side. Yoga respects my body. Spending an hour in a yoga class is an hour of meditation. Meditation equals peace of mind.

Recognize that what motivated you last year may not be what gets you up and moving this year, or even next month, or even tomorrow. People change. You change. Its okay.

Choose Yourself

Okay, let’s just say it, time. Time is not on our side, is it? Career obligations, family life, other interests, they all are pulling at us. Frankly, on the days when Joe wins, I find myself being preoccupied with thoughts of “When will I run again?” “ When is my next yoga class?” Joe doesn’t offer much in the mental clarity area does he?

Carving out time for yourself is hard. It can be laden with guilt. Dig deep, my friend. Choose you! Some days you may have to be (GASP!) selfish! This is not to say every day you will win. Relax! Be realistic! If you choose yourself three times in seven days, that is something to celebrate. Feeling bad about yourself because you did not exercise is the same as if you were exercising simply to lose weight! Negative energy! Who needs it! Rise above the temptation to wager a mental war of anguish.

Grab your Joe and go!

Photo by Cristiano Betta.

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We’re big fans of all things natural and eco-friendly at C&D, so we were delighted when we had the opportunity to find out more about Joshua Onysko, CEO and founder of Pangea Organics. Not only is Joshua a passionate advocate of truly organic and natural approaches to beauty and skincare, he’s a big believer in the responsibility of corporations to support ethical, sustainable and cruelty-free business practices.

1. The future is coming, and I like what it looks like.
2. Women are smarter than men.
3. Pangea is the best skin care company in the world.
4. Natalie Portman will ask me out some day.
5. The only true answers in life are the ones that are not written.
6. Sex will never go out of style.
7. The fringe always predicts the future.
8. We must learn to see the positive, or we will be blinded by the negative.
9. Love does conquer all….that’s why we all need a great pre nuptial.
10. That to thank you for being a C&D reader, Pangea would like you to receive 50 per cent off your holiday order. To take advantage of this offer, simply email us at Holiday@pangeaorganics.com with Carrie and Danielle in the subject line.

10 Things I Know for Sure is a semi-regular series we’re running, to introduce you to inspiring people making a difference in our world. If you have suggestions for people you’d like to see featured, be sure to let us know.

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“I am still looking for the modern equivalent of those Quakers who ran successful businesses, made money because they offered honest products and treated their people decently . . . This business creed, sadly, seems long forgotten.” - Anita Roddick

Carrie says: Li Edelkoort is the founder of a creative think tank. She observes and listens to her intuition when working with her global clients, from fashion designers, automobile companies to banks. Her next book is called The Wellness Bible, can’t wait!  

Danielle says: I worked for The Body Shop for years, and the founder, Anita Roddick was a fiery, enlightened force who defined the triple bottom on a global scale. I think her social responsibility and innovation in business remains unmatched.  

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I am not a cook. I don’t spend enough time in the kitchen to merit that distinction. (My mother-in-law has nothing to fear from me.) But I do cook and I am rather proud of what I can do, however I tend to get a lot of flack from my family about the way I cook. Here are some of the hallmarks…

I improvise

I can never repeat good recipes (and thankfully bad ones). The printed page is just a guideline. I leave out ingredients I don’t like, and substitute when, I realize after my third trip to the market this week, I still don’t have what I need.

I am thrifty

I “concoct” with leftovers and “hide” ingredients I think my family might not like.

I multi-task

Cooking is the best time for me to talk to my best bud, listen to my books on tape or tune into my favorite NPR program.

I am fast

I collect quick and easy recipes. I love the idea that I can whip up two multi-course meals in a few hours!

I clean as I go

No piles of pots and pans in my sink. (I think I take after my grandmother who used to relish saying, “Would you know anyone cooked a full course meal in this kitchen?”)

As a relationship coach, I know exactly what questions to ask myself now:

What is it like to become aware of how you cook?

Not so pretty. Seems like all my worst habits, (that I thought I had overcome) are hanging out with me in the kitchen!

How does that feel?

Not great and also a little reassuring. I was proud of some of the behaviors that used to define me like multi-tasking and being fast, for example.

So now that you are more aware, how do you want to choose to be in the kitchen?

Well, I do feel good about cleaning up as I go. It really fits with my value of taking care of my environment and keeping things simple. And I don’t want to feel boxed in by recipes or some magazine’s view of what foods I should be keeping in my pantry to cook the best meals.

But I do think that multi-tasking is a barrier to being fully present with myself and with what I am cooking. That is the one I need to focus on.

Great, so what is one thing you could do that would inspire you to be really present when cooking and not multi-task?

Mm. I think I have to check in with the C&D readers and get back to you on that one.

Okay wise readers. The way we live any part of our lives, is the way we live our life! This is it, moment to moment. I may have mastered multi-tasking at my desk, but cooking is the final frontier for me. What is your final frontier? What if you started by looking at how you are in the kitchen. What does it tell you about how you are living your life?

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When our kids were young, there were so many windows to perch from to marvel at who they were becoming. There were play dates and park benches. The tables around which we painted and made play-dough. The floors we sat on to read stories and engage in make-believe. Car rides in which anything and everything could (and did) happen. Today car rides are more likely to include other kids in the car pool and surreptitious texting. Most weeknight dinners are too rushed for relaxed and unobtrusive parental perching. And unless we are babysitting our cousins, our play-dough days seem to be over!

So, as they grow, we need to be much more creative and alert to catch the quick reflection of the evolving spirit of our children. If you want a good view, here are some of the places I have learned to look:

Their writing

It is true that a lot of so-called creative writing in school is circumscribed by topic and rarely reveals your child’s inner soul. Nevertheless, as kids get older, their perspectives on their world, and the books they read, for example, can tell you a lot about how they think and what moves them.

The music they love

My son has recently become a fan of Ben Fold. He told me to listen to the words of his two favorite songs: Learn to Live With What You Are and Still Fighting It about a dad who doesn’t want his son to grow up…Need I say more?

The way they treat their team mates on the field

My kids have been frustrated by losing soccer games. They can mope with the best of them. But I have watched them when a team mate is beating himself up for his poor performance as they rally to his side, with respectful encouragement.

Their privacy requests

Around the time my older son turned 13, I learned to knock on the door before entering his room. So far, they have an open-door policy with me- except for the bathroom. That is strictly off-limits.

How are you learning about your children?

What do you do to walk the fine line between your children’s privacy, and knowing who they are and what’s happening in their lives?

Photo by matthewlees.

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Feeling the economic squeeze? Unplug the telephone. Send an “out of office” e-mail. It’s time for a vacation – at home.

The anxiety caused by the current economic climate makes it even more important to devote time for pleasure, connection, rest and relaxation.

While vacationing at home may seem like an oxymoron, the “staycation” has become the latest trend in travel.

The staycation is respite without stress, creatively planned so that it is as restful as it is exciting. Here are a few innovative ways to enjoy the recreation, leisure, and freedom of a more traditional vacation while staying close to home.

Eat, Drink and Be Merry

Plan a progressive dinner party, a moving buffet hosted by several friends. The progressive dinner party is generally divided into 3-4 dinner courses, with each household preparing a course. Holiday and seasonal foods, and foods from around the world, are other popular themes.

Take a Tour

Whether you’ve lived in your area for 10 months or 10 years, becoming a tourist in your hometown can be enlightening. Visit your local Chamber of Commerce or Visitors Bureau for brochures. Highlight historical points of interest, museums, parks or restaurants and chart your path.

Run, Jump, Play

Host a game night or a series of progressive party game nights. Imagine the crowd going wild as you enjoy an evening of games and sports with family and friends.

Create a Dream Travel Box

Use your local library, information from the internet, and travel brochures to “visit” your dream vacation spots. Decorate a box and fill it with all the information you find about your special places.

Put Your Records On

Play your favorite songs by creating a vacation soundtrack. Whether it’s the sound of steel drums of the Caribbean or the more mellow instrumentals that accompany quiet meditation, use music to stimulate your imagination.

With a little planning, you can enjoy all of the benefits of vacationing right at home.

So, where will you go on your staycation?

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Within days of finding out I was pregnant four years ago, I was buying books. No matter how much people tell you about pregnancy and birth (and, boy, do they want to tell you about birth!), it’s impossible to understand until you’ve been through it. I wanted, I needed, all the information I could get.

After asking for recommendations, scouring the shops and reading all the five-star reviews on Amazon, I had quite a library. I’m expecting my second child now and, between both pregnancies, here are the five books I couldn’t have done without.

1: The Pregnant Woman’s Comfort Book

My copy is literally falling apart, I referred to it so many times during my first pregnancy. Jennifer Louden’s book is subtitled “A self-nurturing guide to your emotional well-being“, which was enormously important to me. I found that most people seemed to think, because you’re pregnant, you must be thrilled with every development. But I wasn’t. I felt like I was losing myself. I missed my body. I even missed never being “alone.” Louden addresses all of these concerns along with positive issues, like making the most of creativity and spirituality during pregnancy and early motherhood. There’s even a fabulous index, where you can look up a “symptom” such as “Missing my Java” or “Hating my doctor” and be led to the relevant chapters. Highly recommended.

2: Babies for Beginners

Roni Jay establishes the absolute basics of babycare - keep the baby alive at all costs, and try to stop it getting too hungry. Pretty much everything else is either completely unnecessary or a luxury. It was a total revelation in those early post-birth weeks when I was utterly neurotic about everything (I once tasted some expressed breast milk after Harry had refused it. It had curdled. I cried for - literally - two hours).

3: The Baby Whisperer

Roni Jay aside, I generally don’t put much stock in baby “experts” or training methods (even if I thought it was possible to “train” a new baby, I’m not sure I would want to do it), but a friend recommended The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau and it was exactly what I needed. There’s quite a selection of Baby Whisperer books now, but all you really need to know is the E.A.S.Y. method for creating a structured - but far from rigid - routine. The second half of the book expands on the method and suggests amendments depending on your parenting personality and the personality of your baby. It really did work like a charm.

4: Mother Shock

I said above that I relied on The Pregnant Woman’s Comfort Book during my first pregnancy. During my second (current!) pregnancy, I found that I wanted to read a different kind of book. I didn’t want manuals, I wanted memoirs. Like Andrea Buchanan’s Mother Shock. In this collection of essays, Buchanan examines her experience of (mostly) the first year of motherhood, comparing the transition with the culture shock experienced when you move to another country. Buchanan admits things in writing that I barely even admitted to myself in my head. It’s incredibly brave and incredibly comforting.

5: Waiting for Birdy

A memoir that I’ve read twice during this pregnancy (and may well re-read before it’s over). Waiting for Birdy by Catherine Newman is not only one of the best parenting books I’ve ever read, it’s one of my favorite books of all time. It’s the story of a family or, as the cover puts it “a year of frantic tedium, neurotic angst, and the wild magic of growing a family.” The wild magic of growing a family. Isn’t that beautiful? I’ve had that phrase in my head through much of this pregnancy. Much of the focus is on Catherine’s mixed feelings about being pregnant with her second child. Catherine articulates every single thing I’ve ever felt about motherhood. How joyful it is. How painful it is. How everything - everything - is bittersweet. It made me cry. It made me laugh. And sometimes it made me laugh until I cried.

Have your own baby book recommendations? Share them in the comments below.

Photo by jmsuarez.

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Have you ever felt dismissed, diminished or disappointed after talking with a friend about a problem? Left thinking, “I am a such a loser.”

Or perhaps you’ve walked away from a discussion feeling inflated, righteous and superior? Thinking,” Man, they really needed my help.”

The magic of advise only works when it’s invited, agreed upon, and valued. Developing the muscle for giving and receiving advise creates an opportunity for people to share, (and not feel judged) to listen, and to be of service.

Five tips for giving advise.

1. Remember no one needs to be saved.
2. Listen. Be with the person who is sharing then ask, “May I offer my thoughts?” or “May I tell you what I think?” May is used when asking for permission, notice how graceful it is to say May I, rather than Can I.
3. Sharing a problem or an issue is not a request to fix someone’s problem. We can not fix a feeling or a person. A broken door handle is fixed, experiences are healed.
4. Tell the truth. And remember your delivery impacts the receivers experience. Firmness and gentleness goes a long way.
5. Don’t tell people what to do, “You should…..” No one likes a dictator.

Five tips when asking for advise.

1. Be clear about what you need. Is it support, information or a gentle ear?
2. Choose the right person to ask for advise. Is this experience going to move me forward?
3. Choose the right time to share. Maybe it’s not the right time to say “I feel old, tired and fat, do I look ok,” when your partner is rushing off to a meeting.
4. Be prepared to receive what you don’t want to hear.
5. Say thank you.

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Have you always loved to read and wished you could write? Want to say something but have no idea where to start? Here are five surprising tips to get you thinking like a writer.

1: Listen

Record a conversation, then type it word for word. My grandfather used to press “record” on the tape machine at dinnertime. He captured hilarious conversations and preserved the preciousness of youth. He also built, for me, an ear for dialogue. Audio re-play lets you hear patterns of speech and catch nuances of meaning you may not hear in the moment. Before you know it, you may have the voice of your next character in your head.

2: Read

Imitation is more than the highest form of flattery. It is how we learn. Read what you love…novels, articles, poems. Then practice writing in the very same way. How? Paraphrase: Start with a paragraph. Read it. Re-write it in your OWN words—not great big flowery words or fierce competitive diction, just write what you think it means. Repeat. This will get you thinking like the author of the piece you love, and get you noticing their styles and techniques. Start small. Keep going. Eventually, input equals output.

3: Be a Kid

The best advice I learned in college? “You’re 11. I’m 11.” My teacher read our first round of papers and gagged. “Too many big words,” she said. “Too much impressing, and too much explaining about what you’re explaining. Just say what you see, like you’re 11 and I’m 11. I’ll get it.” We did, and she got it. I’ve been 11 ever since.

4: Sing

I’m not kidding! No one has to hear you. You can do it in the car and then grab a notebook as you pull into the driveway. Singing has been proven to open wells of emotion in your brain. When you sing, you contact your inner world…the place where imagination comes from, emotion and inspiration. Open your voice and then fire up your computer and clatter away. Keep the music playing to keep you on a roll when your voice has moved from your throat to your fingertips.

5: Flow

Don’t stop. Write pen to paper, fingers to keyboard without time to edit. Give yourself ten minutes of no-stop writing, just go, go, go. Then build up to an hour. Only at the end can you re-work what you’ve written. The good stuff is rarely at the top of the page. It’s buried deep, like gold and diamonds. You have to mine it, in the dark, with courage to go deep till you’ve unearthed it.

Photo by Lost Albatross.

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I cannot get enough of CNN and talk about the economy. I’ve always been interested in ways to improve my finances. Like most people, I’ve made some serious money and credit mistakes. I acquired three credit cards after graduating from high school; and in less than a year, they were maxed out. I spent that first year of adulthood spending money I didn’t have and living way beyond my means. But unlike most people, it didn’t take five or 10 years to recognize my mistakes. I paid my bills on time every month, so the issue wasn’t bad credit. Still, my future plans included buying a new car and eventually a home. And for a lender to take my application seriously, I needed to make some changes.

But there are good ways and bad ways to get out of debt. I didn’t study personal finance or Credit 101 in school, and some of the decisions I made on my path to debt-free living caused more harm than good. Interestingly, the mistakes I made (and the ones I almost made), are shared by many debtors. There isn’t a single right way to eliminate debt and improve your finances. But some strategies that seem logical in hindsight can actually knock a few points off your credit score. Here’s my list of the top five debt-reduction steps to avoid.

1: Closing Credit Card Accounts

At one point, I had about eight credit cards. They weren’t all maxed out, but each card had a balance. Finally, I had enough and I paid off three of the balances. Rather than cut the cards in half or lock them in a drawer, I immediately contacted each creditor and closed the accounts. It felt so liberating…until I checked my credit report a few months later and received a nice surprise. Closing the accounts reduced my credit score by 30 points! Why? Many factors influence credit scoring such as credit length and available credit. Reduce both, and your score takes a nosedive.

2: Hiring a Debt Consolidation Agency

Because I didn’t have a lot of disposable income, I considered hiring a debt consolidation agency to reduce my debt. But after researching these programs I decided it wasn’t the best route. Most agencies charge an up-front fee, and there are no guarantees. Plus, debt consolidation agencies freeze your accounts and you don’t have access to credit. But the one thing that really turned me off: original creditors report “third-party assistance” to the credit bureaus. This seemingly innocent remark can frighten future lenders, and it’ll appear as if you can’t manage your own finances.

3: Accepting a High Interest Rate

Anyone who’s serious about debt elimination needs to grab their credit card statements and look at their interest rate. Is it high? If so, contact your creditors and ask for a lower rate. This method won’t work for everyone. But if you’ve been a loyal customer for years, and have an impeccable payment history, you deserve a better rate. Credit card companies need your business, and they would rather lower your interest rate than lose you to a competitor.

4: Applying for a Home Equity Loan

A home equity loan lets you tap into your equity, and you can use the money for debt consolidation. It’s an easy and quick way to reduce debt. So, what’s the problem? The truth is many homeowners have little self-control. They obtain a home equity loan, use the money to pay off debt, and then they acquire new credit card debt. Debt becomes a vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself.

5: Paying Just the Minimum Payment

It’ll take approximately eight years to pay off a no-interest credit card with a $1,000 balance. Add 15 to 20 percent interest on top of that and you’re looking at 20 to 30 years. Paying just the minimum is enough to keep your credit score afloat, but it isn’t enough to reduce the balance.

What are some tips you have for surviving the credit crunch?

Look for more tips on money and personal finance from Valencia soon!

Photo by Digiart2001.

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I once asked a guy I had a huge crush on to a Sadie Hawkins type dance in high school by reading a carefully written speech that I had prepared over the phone. The speech had different versions written in advance (in case he said yes or no), because I like to be prepared when taking a risk. Yet in my own way, I went for it despite my intense fears. In fact, I remember my heart was beating so loudly I could barely hear his responses. Even more difficult to listen because I had to pay attention to where I was in the script.

Discovering My Secret Power

So, he ended up saying yes, and the dance went horribly, and we barely spoke; yet I consider it a victory because I asked. It really doesn’t matter that I was reading from a cue card, it actually makes it all the sweeter. I have been looking back as of late and realizing despite all of my shyness, there has always been a quiet boldness about me. A little voice that sits in the background and eggs me on to be a lot more daring than is comfortable.

Be Bold

It is perhaps the quiet boldness that encourages a deep (and admittedly somewhat odd) fascination with being a mascot. To be disguised in full costume, and allowed, even encouraged to do whatever the hell you want is an intoxicating idea. I am enamored with the endless possibilities that await me within one of these sweaty costumes. I intend to live out this fantasy via a rented costume one fine Halloween in the not too distant future.

How to be Daring Without a Costume

The voice that lies within me is not an anomaly. I imagine your voice sounds different than mine, and may not go by the name quiet boldness, but is calling you forward all the same. I hope you are listening and answering its call, and if you have not yet begun, I recommend starting. The best moments in life occur when you are doing exactly what you want despite the possible consequences. When you quit caring about fear and failure for just long enough to allow yourself to really live.

Now, that means different things to everyone to say the least. As for me, I have abbreviated and emboldened my routine when I talk to attractive men. I no longer write speeches; instead I brazenly choose to hold a quick stage rehearsal in my head before proceeding. Sometimes it involves a dance routine, other times it does not. And while my boldness may be like standing in a dark closet to those who are more outgoing by nature, to me it is like jumping out of a plane.

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Becoming a vegetarian is a life choice that can have many benefits, both to you and the planet. If more people were vegetarians, or at least ate less meat, we could use the land more productively, and cut down on water usage and pesticides, since we wouldn’t need to grow grains for animals to eat. (And don’t forget about the carbon footprint of your cheeseburger…) Even if you are not prepared to become a full on vegetarian, consider the benefits of eating less meat in your diet.

There are many types of vegetarians

Some vegetarians include eggs, dairy products and even fish in their diet (lacto-ovo- vegetarians). Some will eat dairy products (lacto-vegetarians) but not eggs. Yet others do on occasion, like when they are invited out, or at a restaurant (flexitarians). Vegans won’t eat any animal by-products including all diary and egg products. If you’re considering becoming a vegan, talk to your doctor about vitamin supplements and consider taking calcium, vitamin D, and vitamin B 12 fortified food or/and vitamin supplements. Most vegetarian diets are healthier than many meat diets so long as diversity and balance are maintained.

Dietary and Lifestyle Problems: Many of the Same Rules Apply

Sometimes women become vegetarians because they think they will lose weight. This is not always so, especially if you eat junk food like doughnuts and potato chips. You can pile on the calories with sugar and vegetable fat just as easily as with meat.

Eat Healthy Just because you are a vegetarian doesn’t mean you are eating healthy food. Many fast food restaurants sell food that doesn’t appear or sound like meat but cook it in lard and add meat byproducts. To be 100 per cent certain, always read labels and go on websites to find the ingredients list. Most importantly, find out what kind of oil is used in their French fries. Remember Trans fat is technically vegetarian but it is still unhealthy. If you are a busy person who eats on the run, have healthy snacks like fruit, power bars (but read the ingredients), sushi and vegetables like carrots readily available.

Learn To Cook

Depending on where you live, becoming a vegetarian often means forgoing restaurant food and doing more of your own cooking. Getting back into cooking or learning to cook can be a wonderful, creative and satisfying experience. Vegetarian cooking isn’t any more challenging, but it can take a bit of extra planning. Luckily there are many great cook books and literally hundreds of thousands of recipes online.

Create Balance

Make sure you are getting the right amount of protein, calcium, iron, and vitamin B12. If you eat a variety of foods especially leafy green vegetables, tofu, nuts, legumes, dried fruit, seeds, grains and peanut butter, you’ll be getting all the vitamins and protein you need. Vegetarians can get iron and calcium from green leafy vegetables like broccoli and calcium fortified tofu. Always experiment with recipes and new foods. Variety is the key to good nutrition.

Fresher is Better

Using fresher and better quality produce in your cooking will mean better tasting and healthier meals. Sticking to local and / or organic food is taking your support of a sustainable environment one step further, and will certainly help reduce your footprint (not to mention boost your local economy). Find out about co-ops and markets in your area that sell local and organic produce. I belong to a co-op which is run by volunteers and sells fresh local organic produce at well below any supermarket price. If you buy locally then you are cutting down on the green house gases used to transport food. Mostly, though, do it for your taste buds. It’s really important that you eat food you love and enjoy because that way you’ll be more likely to stick with it.

Becoming a vegetarian is a great opportunity to learn about, food, nutrition, cooking, and self- discipline. It can be an important step in a new life, for yourself and the planet. Get started today!

Photo by chailey.

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Oh, to be 12 and free again! Free to express pure angst, unbridled excitement, torrential tears! Passionate enough to lament the end of the world on a regular basis.

Watch this video of kids reacting to the news that David Archuleta did not win American Idol, and you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s an hilarious - perhaps scary - look at the no-holds-barred world we left behind with our squeaky voices and pre-pubescent ideals.

When was the last time we wailed like that? Maybe if Obama had lost the election. But outside of sports and real personal tragedies, we (in North America at least) never seem to let go like that. Maybe we don’t feel it inside, or maybe we hold back from showing it – I hope it’s the latter, cause I sure don’t want to believe that we’re that emotionally muted as a culture.

This must be the reason that sports are so popular. It’s one area in life that we, especially we men, can unabashedly scream in ecstasy or despair. A classical Greek catharsis for our bottled-up souls.

This is also the true indicator of the miracle wrought by Barack Obama. For the first time perhaps since JFK, people were roused out of political apathy and allowed themselves to care, to hope, to believe in a leader and a vision. I’m regularly bummed out by the results of elections in my own country, but would have joined the legions of wailing people around the world if Barack had lost. I would have easily become as lost as those near-suicidal American Idolotrors, as easily as I joined the hugging and high-fiving throngs in the school parking lot the morning after election day.

I want to celebrate and yell and wail more often. And you, when do you let go?

Photo by dantegeek.

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Once you have your list of ideas (see Part One in this series if you’re new to this), what do you do now?

Start Writing Your Article

It sounds obvious but read lots of magazines and make a list of the different types of articles they contain. Include everything – from letters to the editor, to household tips, to real life experiences. Then go through and pinpoint the areas you think you can contribute to. Do any of the subjects on your list fit these, or can they be adapted? Make a note of possibilities next to each subject. Not only will this focus your planning, but it’s always helpful to show that you’ve read the magazine and know where your article might slot in when you write your pitch letter. Make a note too if you see any articles that are similar to the ones you had in mind.

Is Anyone Really Interested?

Now look further at your list of ideas. Try it view it as an outsider. Why would anyone else be interested? How could your article help them? What other information, other people to speak to, would you need? One of the best ways I know for getting this right is to imagine telling the story to my best friend. This helps me get straight into what makes the story worth telling, rather than spend too long setting the scene!

Think Ahead

Make it topical. Is there a seasonal twist to your story, or does it tie in with an anniversary of a special event? Better still, is it tied in with a current news story? Magazines and newspapers are bursting with articles about thrift at the moment, for example. One word of warning though; remember that some magazines are planned and written months ahead so you would need to be thinking about Christmas stories in June if not earlier!

Fact Finder

Get your facts right. Even if you are writing a personal story, don’t just rely on your memory or opinions. Can you get hold of facts that back it up or bring it to life? Not only do these add authority to your article, but they’ll protect you by making sure what you say is right. Sometimes our memory plays tricks with dates, places, and spellings. Also, facts can make what you write more interesting. Perhaps you think you’re alone in your particular situation, for example, but finding out how many other – or how few - people share your experience can give a whole perspective on the piece.

Now What?

Where to go next? Keep a note of any organizations, books, or shops you may want to talk about. Also it’s a good idea to give some links for readers, inspired by your article, to follow up.

Next in the series, pitching your idea to the magazine.

Photo by Ed Yourdon.

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“I have to say I’m quite appreciative when someone has listened to a comment I may have made about something I like several months earlier, remembered what it was and even bought it for me as a gift. That’s pretty special! More so than the cost...”  from Ross, Daily Q&A. Listening and creativity are the key [...] Related posts:

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“I have to say I’m quite appreciative when someone has listened to a comment I may have made about something I like several months earlier, remembered what it was and even bought it for me as a gift. That’s pretty special! More so than the cost...”  from Ross, Daily Q&A.

Listening and creativity are the key elements to great gift giving. Throughout the year I build my gift list, taking note of comments from friends and family, tearing pages from magazines, book marking products and websites, and collecting answers from our daily Q&A. Vogue magazine’s Sally Singer’s cheap and cheerful rule is to spend no more than $130.00 on each gift. My rule is what can I create and how can I buy Eco friendly, thoughtful gifts for under $50.00?  I am indeed a treasure hunter, check out my great finds.

Sister: My twin has discovered gardening. The Canvas Water Bucket made from heavyweight canvas holds liquids and can be used for storage inside and outside, for carrying all kinds of things and folds for easy storage. For the gardener in your life! $12.75

Brother in law: The family calendar on the fridge never looked so good. Pentagram typographic over sized calendar is my favorite, hip and well designed. $38.00

Teen age niece: She’s sporty and part rocker: a not too feminine silver hand stamped tag necklace found on Etsy, the best site to buy hand made stylish products. $26.00

Hubby: Space will be tight in our island studio, the Eggflat MIni holds keys, coins and other small treasures. Made from 85% factory excess wool, this will speak to his love of purity. Branch web sites motto, Sustainable design for living. $29.00

Hostess gifts:  During the summer I buy homemade preserves. There is an abundance of of sustainably grown food and crafts at farmers markets that make lovely gifts. To find a market in your area, check out Local Harvest.

Girlfriends: One of our bloggers, Caroline Shannon, gave me a cheap chic gift idea for all my girlfriends. A recipe for home made lip shimmer, I will fill small glass bottles from China town with her magical concoction.

Mum: Elegant objects are always a hit with my mum. Tiffany lacquered purse pen is small and special. I will share the cost with my sis. $95.00

Dad: Malcolm Gladwell’s new book, The Outliers,  the story of success and the characteristics of what makes success will fascinate my retired dad. $15.39

In laws: They want to spend time with us, waffles and coffee at Medina Cafe, European flavor in food and design. Give an experience!

Sister in laws: Nigel Slater’s cook book, The Kitchen Diaries. He is a cook who writes, with  a column for the The Observer and the most stunning web site, his books are the perfect gift for the foodie in your life. “Cooking suggests an act of protection and caring, of generosity and intimacy”. $26.40

Godchildren:  What color is your world?, written by talented illustrator Bill Gill it encourages children to color outside the lines. Isn’t less plastic always appreciated? $10.17

Our canine daughter:  Natural hemp rope toy for our big girl. $9.99

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Karen Salmansohn is a hugely prolific author of self-help books. But her books are different. They’re beautifully illustrated and extremely entertaining. And she’s sold over a million of them. You may know her bestselling Be Happy, Dammit (or the Sirius radio show of the same name), but her latest book is The Bounce Back [...] Related posts:

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It’s been said that there’s no place like home for the holidays, and this is certainly true for work-at-home parents. After all, only when you work from home do you have the unique privilege of cooking a turkey and meeting a deadline at the same time! In honor of the upcoming holiday season, I’d like [...] Related posts:

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My husband’s favorite complaint is, “all you ever want to do is eat.” As much as this annoys me, he’s absolutely right. Eating out is what I look forward to on the weekends – it’s my main form of recreation. And yes, it can get expensive and it’s probably cheaper to cook at home. But [...] Related posts:

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